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The Art of the Detour

Alireza
2 min read
Free spirit
Self-reflection
Fresh starts

Wasted time?

I used to think a detour was wasted time. A plan that didn't work out. A turn you'd have been better off avoiding. That mindset fits neatly into résumés, spreadsheets, and five-year plans. It fits a real life much less neatly.

The straightest paths are rarely the most interesting ones. Looking back, it's almost always been the detours that shaped me the most - not because they felt good in the moment, but because they forced me to look more closely.

What a detour actually is

A detour isn't a bug in the system. It's the moment a plan meets reality - and reality wins. You can read that as failure. Or as information.

Looking back at the phases of my life I used to experience as setbacks, I see something different today: they showed me what actually matters to me - often precisely by taking away something I'd taken for granted.

The difference between a detour and standing still

Not every detour is valuable. The difference lies in whether you stay awake. A detour you sleepwalk through doesn't get you anywhere. A detour you walk consciously - with your eyes open to what it's showing you - changes something.

That's also why I've stopped regretting my detours. Not because they were easy. But because I wouldn't be who I am today without them - and because I'm not sure the straight path would even have taken me anywhere worth going.

An invitation

If you're on a detour right now - professionally, personally, somewhere in between - don't just ask yourself how to get back to the "right" path. Ask yourself: what is this detour showing me right now?

Sometimes the answer is uncomfortable. But it's almost always more honest than the plan you let go of.

AS

About the author

Alireza Shahsavarkhani lived for a long time inside patterns he took for his personality. Today he writes about recognising and loosening old family and relationship patterns – from lived experience, without diagnoses and without promises of healing. He is the author of “Der Parasit und der Quantensprung”.